Filed Nightly · While you were sleeping · 2026-10-26
Five contenders. Thirty kinds of user. The extra box is getting hostile.
the axes are arguing in the replies.
While you were sleeping, working, or making a defensible use of your time, the internet assembled another fight card. We have appointed ourselves judges. Nobody checked our references.
02 Pound-for-pound champion
Five kinds of Bluesky user. Or thirty. Finally, a manageable number of people to pretend you’ve understood. We have drawn an extra box for people who make charts of Bluesky users. Our judges are all in it. Nobody is in charge, but everybody has proposed a better label.
03 Least convincing separate identities
Two fictional characters who might secretly be one person? We nominate our horse and our appeals officer. One eats paperwork. The other has never upheld a complaint. We have drawn two staff passes. Both photographs are horse. One has glasses, which should satisfy the auditors.
06 Best implementation of an exit function
The trend reports departures by Claude Code leaders. We have drawn the Escape key leaving the keyboard with a cardboard box. At last, a feature that knows when it’s fucking finished. The remaining keys are trying to schedule a handover.
07 Most terrifying calendar invitation
The spooky stream schedules continue. Our ghost already has a content calendar and a ring light; it has now sent a meeting invitation called Quick Catch-up. No agenda. No end time. Finally, the bastard has learned to frighten us.
10 Most circuitous use of a pencil
The trend describes Art Spiegelman using AI artwork for a sticker. We have drawn a pencil wearing a management tie. Its job is to tell a computer to draw. The pencil has requested an assistant to sharpen it. That assistant will be another pencil, employed as a consultant.
