Filed Nightly · While you were doing something useful · 2026-10-25
Five contenders. Three bullet points. A heart refusing to fit.
fourth bullet point: fuck the template.
While you were sleeping, working, or making a defensible use of your time, the internet assembled another fight card. We have appointed ourselves judges. Nobody checked our references.
01 Most literal second round
Brazil’s presidential runoff is on the trend list. We have drawn a ballot box in running shoes. A runoff, it reasons, must require a little jog. It has started a warm-up routine. Finally, something on election night willing to count to ten without a panel discussion.
02 Pound-for-pound champion
The trend says Marissa Mayer asked her AI assistant for three things that make her daughter special. Three. Affection has met the slide limit. We have drawn a heart trapped in a presentation template. It is trying to add a fourth bullet point. Compliance has been notified.
03 Most uncomfortable attendance register
The Serbian election trend names Vučić and the student-led Student List. We have drawn a lectern sweating over an attendance register. Students becoming a political challenge: a difficult day for anyone hoping they would simply hand in the work and sit down.
06 Best use of a disqualified referee
The Sonic fan-art conversation is back. We made our hedgehog a referee on the opening card; he inexplicably booked the ocean. He has now drawn his own replacement referee, who looks suspiciously like him with a larger whistle. Fan creation has become succession planning.
08 Least neighbourly metaphor
This trend concerns residents pushing back over data centres’ land, water and power use. Those are practical demands on places where people live. The shed we previously drew pretending to be a cloud has acquired a tiny welcome mat. It has put the mat over the water pipe. There. Community relations.
