Filed Nightly · While you were doing something useful · 2026-10-24
Six contenders. Two anonymous reviewers. One suspiciously well-plumbed cloud.
minor revisions: add butter.
While you were sleeping, working, or making a defensible use of your time, the internet assembled another fight card. We have appointed ourselves judges. Nobody checked our references.
01 Least convincing attempt to finish
The trend describes disputed calls, missed kicks and overtime. Excellent: the remedy for being unable to finish the football is additional football. We have drawn the goalposts a judge’s wig. They are considering whether the ball came near them in the correct spirit.
02 Best supporting podium
Obama is rallying in Cleveland. Our drawing has a lectern standing on tiptoes, trying to get in the photograph. A fine opportunity to talk about the future, provided the future can stand slightly to the left so we can see Obama.
05 Most formative dietary experience
A list of your first five role-playing games: an efficient way to turn a friendly question into a shelf inspection. At our imaginary table, the horse remembers its first five rulebooks by flavour. We have asked it for titles. It has given us bite marks.
07 Best unnecessary review of a weekday
The film conversation is still labelled Friday. Our drawn calendar gives Saturday two stars: weak transition, derivative sunrise. It preferred the earlier days, before everybody knew about them.
08 Least convincing cloud disguise
Noise, water use and power bills are among the concerns named in this trend. People living nearby have to deal with the actual facilities. We have drawn the cloud as a shed hiding behind a cotton ball. A remarkable amount of plumbing for a metaphor.
10 Pound-for-pound champion
A study says AI beats human peer review. Splendid. We have drawn two anonymous reviewers: a person under a bag and a toaster under a bag. Both insist we cite their previous work. The toaster’s previous work is toast.